A Yellow Dog

I ran across a quote last night, while reading through some much needed facebook distraction and it fit our life and the goal Kevin and I striving for perfectly.

” It is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men.”  –Fredrick Douglas–

Our life is not our own, and I was reminded of that through the last week, while studying Mary (the mother of Jesus) in our bible study.  It says in Jeremiah: “LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.” and also in Proverbs that “A person’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way?

These verses are ones that I have to cling to everyday, that my loving and gracious God, is directing my path and that he knows far better than me what is good for my life and the lives of my kids.  Sometimes I wonder about his methods though.

Last Friday night, our Dopey, yellow dog started acting funny.  She wasn’t her usual springy, goofy self.  She seemed off.  I thought maybe she got into something ( she is a notorious garbage sniffer-outer.)  So I figured she’d barf a little and then be back to normal.  That didn’t happen, by Sunday we knew that she was super sick.  She wouldn’t walk up the stairs, or wag her tail or even lift her head to look at the boys.

I called the vet, and she told us to bring her in, so Kevin and I (mostly Kevin) loaded her into the van and I picked up my mom…I am a coward sometimes, and would rather have a wing man than to hear bad news on my own.  Thankfully my mom is a dog-lover too, and was willing to come with me. When we got to the vet, they did some blood work, and hooked her up to an IV to get her re hydrated.  We left her there that night, praying that she would perk up, and that she had just gotten a bad belly-ache.

I got home to the boys, and right away a barrage of questions came flooding my way.  Was Ya-Ya (somehow that name was easier to say when the boys were little, so it stuck) coming home? Was she going to die?  What did she get sick from?  Can we go see her?  And from the little guy, ” Can we eat now?” Leave it to Moose to lighten the mood.

I told them that I didn’t know, that the vet was looking at her and that she was really sick.  I told them that she might die, but we were going to pray that she didn’t, and that she would be home soon.  I took the little boys to see her on Monday morning, before I went to work, and she seemed perkier.  But still not back to normal.  I was hopeful, and the vet told me that we should wait one more day with her on IV’s and see how she did.  I agreed.  I took the boys to the sitter, and I went to work.  I called and asked my mom, if she would grab Cooper after school and bring him out to my office, so that we could stop and see Ellie on our way home.  She, yet again, helped me out and grabbed my boy.  When we got to the vet the change in our beloved dog was dramatic, rather than getting better on the fluids she was getting worse.  There was something in her that was poisoning her slowly.  Her eyes were bleeding and she was bleeding in her belly.

A Boy and a Dog

Goofing Around
I knew then that it was God’s nudging that I bring Cooper to say goodbye to his pup.  I knew when I left that I would have to go back that night, and let her go.  I got the boys home and into bed, then I called my sister, (I told you all that I am a chicken, and don’t like to face things alone) Luckily I have a great and supportive family.  So Meg and I went to the vet, and let our Yellow dog go to sleep.  Putting her down beyond difficult, and I felt a gigantic void in my heart.  Especially when I got home and she wasn’t at the foot of our bed thumping her tail.
Yesterday morning, Kevin and I sat the boys down and told them about Ellie.  Cooper was heartbroken.  He just sat at the table and cried.  Mac and Moose, just kind of sat there, and took in the scene.  The silence was broken again, by Mercer asking for breakfast.  So when I dropped Cooper off at school, I hugged him tight and told him that sometimes life stinks, but we just have to keep going on, and learning things through hard lessons.
I am proud of that boy, he spent last night helping his dad and papa dig a place in the yard to lay our pup.  Cooper was brave and made sure that he got to say his kind of goodbye to his partner in crime,  I don’t think that there is a bond stronger than the one between a boy and a dog.  He asked me today if there were dogs in heaven.  I don’t know Coop, I told him….But I sure hope so.
So blogger friends, keep my sweet boys in your prayers, as they learn a hard life lesson, of love and loss and compassion.  Because as I quoted before my goal is to raise strong children who can take the direction and plan of the Lord into their hearts and know that even when life is hard and not fair, lessons are learned and wisdom is gained.

The Ball Queen

Waiting for Coop To Kick The Ball
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  1. I'm praying so much for all of you. I'm sorry once again about your Dog.
    Beautiful post for such a sad time.


  2. Jess, I'm so sorry!! I remember the day you got her and called me and I remember you calling and saying she was lost (but actually not lost but stolen). I remember praying you would find her and you guys did.

    It is such a hard decision to do what you did but you did the right decision for poor little Ellie.

    praying for you all…..


  3. Our Buddy spared us some of this. He went outside and laid down under a bush and refused to come inside. We knew what was going on. I spent the night on the couch waiting for him to reconsider and decide to scratch on the back door to be let in, he didn't. The next morning we called the vet and set-up an appointment to have the old pup put down. I gingerly scooped him up from under the bush, he barely moved. I put him in the back of our van and we brought the kids out to say their goodbyes. Titus and Buddy were buddies, Titus would read to him as Buddy propped his chin on Ti's chest. Buddy took some deep breaths, Ti touched his ears and said goodbye, then Buddy let out a long lasting sigh. And that was it. He let everyone say goodbye, one last touch from his bud, and breathed his last.

  4. I also wanted to add to your quote, its for the follow up for once you have raised your young men. “A good reputation is easier to tear down than it was to put up. So, protect it”

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