Dearest Ireland

My sweet Ireland;                                                    

Never in my farthest thought did I ever think I would be writing a letter like this, one that causes so much pain and comfort all at the same time. You my sweet love are a blessing to me, such a wonderful, perfect blessing. I wouldn’t trade one moment of this, if it meant that I wouldn’t have had the chance to see your sweet face and hold you and love you. Oh my girl, you are loved, so loved.

There are so many things that I was hoping for in you, I couldn’t wait for the chance to dress you in pink, and put little frilly things on you, to nurse you, to rock you to sleep, to watch you grow up; to see you smile, laugh and walk. To see you wrap you brothers around you finger. To teach you about Jesus and guide you to become a woman of God; I feel cheated by this absence. But I know that you are surrounded by Jesus’ arms and that he is showing you things beyond my wildest imagination. Oh baby girl, he loves you so much more than I ever could, and that is an amazing comfort, and I know that without one doubt in the world, that I will see you in heaven, and we’ll walk together, and I will get the chance to hold you again. This time without fear of an ending, knowing this brings me hope and a smile. To know that you’re waiting for us, oh there is joy in that.

I wish that you could have known your brothers and dad they were so excited to meet you.

Cooper is your biggest brother, and he is someone that you will love to be around. He is full of compassion and energy. His heart is so incredible and full of joy and spunk. He was so excited to see you on the ultrasound, when the man told us you were a girl he just lit up. A little sister, oh what fun this will be. He wanted to teach you things. Baseball was at the number one spot, followed closely by skiing. He wanted to hold and snuggle you, to look out for you and mostly to love you.

Mcguire is your 2nd brother and he is the most fun 3-year old you would ever want to know. He called you his baby gummy bear. Mac is someone that you would be proud to call your brother. He is full of life and spirit. He has a little bit of a temper too, something that I imagine you having as well. Mac is someone that has a great love for his family and would come and kiss my belly and tell me that he was excited to meet his baby sister. He wanted to golf with you; golf is his reason for getting up in the morning. Mcguire is so special to us, and I know that he would have been a fantastic brother and friend to you.

Mercer well he’s your youngest, older brother, I hope that makes sense? He is the life of the party and though I don’t think he knows the ins and outs of a baby sister coming into the world, He knows that something is different. Mercer is a mischief maker and a snuggly love, all at the same time. I think you and Mercer would have had some fantastic times together. Fights, lots of fights, because I don’t think he would have given up his spot as baby of the family without a little fuss. But he would have loved you so much.

Lastly I want to introduce you to your daddy, oh Ireland; he is such a wonderful guy. God couldn’t have picked a better daddy for you. I couldn’t wait to see him hold you, a daddy and daughter there is no sweeter thing. Your daddy is a rock, someone who is always here for his family; he works hard to provide for us and is full of a quiet peace that is always something that has amazed me. He loves your brothers and me with everything in him, and people see in him, the love for his family and for Jesus. He and I created you together and I know that he loves you as much as I do. I know his heart is breaking over losing you and I want you to know he loves you more than you can know.

These things are just small pieces of your family here, but I felt it necessary to introduce them to you. They are so important for you to know. Oh my girl, I know that you are home with Jesus, but I am selfish. I want you here, I don’t want to walk this path and I am not sure why God has brought your daddy and I to this place. But know this, your life will not be without purpose and reason. You will be honored and remembered, and cherished. I hope that when we meet again, you will look at me and say. “Oh mommy, you made my short hours on earth a testimony to so many others. And I have met people that were influenced by you because of my short life.” That my sweet Ireland is my hope for this struggle that we’re walking, to glorify God with this and to bring a completion and purpose for your sweet little life, I still have so many questions that aren’t answered, but I know that someday I will have the pieces put together and all of this heart-ache will make sense. Until that day I will rest in the peace of Jesus’ and his promises.

Little Ireland, I want you to know how much I love you. Oh I love you, and I know that you would have brought great things to this world. I have so many more things that I want to tell you, but I will close with this. Rest well with Jesus, and know that look forward to the day when we meet again.

All of my love,

Mommy

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Comments

  1. 🙂 I love this letter.

  2. So very beautiful Jess :){{HUGS}}
    Caroline

  3. ((((Jessica)))) I'm sooooo sorry; I know it doesn't make any sense and why you and Kevin, but just trust Jesus…….

    betty

  4. She knows, Jessica. Baby Ireland knows, she always knew, since the moment you came to know she was there, she knew your love.
    I am so touched by your faith and your strength…
    ~Meg

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