Heaven :)

One of the hardest things that Kevin and I have had to face is telling our boys about Ireland’s death.  When we came home from the hospital, Cooper and Mac knew something was up,  Their routine had been altered, and that is not something that is done in our house.  Routine and scheduling is how I make it through the day.  🙂

So when we sat on the couch and told them about Ireland, Cooper cried.  He cried these gut-wrenching sobs, that  broke our already broken hearts.  “Mommy, I really wanted this baby sister, Why did this happen?”  I told them both what I knew.  That her body was weak and that Jesus saw that she was hurting and that he called her home to heaven, and that because we believe in Jesus we would see her again. That seemed to satisfy his questions. Mcguire didn’t say much he just sat there and acted like a typical 3-year old.

Until Bedtime.

They flooded Kevin and I with questions about heaven, what’s it like?  Will we sit on clouds and play harps? What will we do? Golf? Baseball? Skiing? (these was of the utmost importance), Other kids?  Will we know each other? Will there be animals? Will Jesus recognize us?  Will Ireland know us?  All of these questions that their sweet 3 and 7-year old brains couldn’t seem to process.  I found myself wondering the same thing?  What will heaven be like?  It seems too fantastic to imagine…but I am know that whatever God has created heaven to be, it will be beyond our wildest imagination.

Kevin and I have had several conversations with the boys since that first night, and all of them have been about heaven. How can we go there so we can be with Ireland again?  It makes my heart do a little flip-flop when we talk about it, because their expectations are so simple. We told them how to get to heaven.  “Ask Jesus into your heart, let him be the boss of your life.”: You know what, they did and they believe.  Why?   Trust.  My kids know that Kevin and  would never put them in jeapordy, they TRUST us. So they believe what we tell them about Jesus and his amazing love. 

So why is trusting Jesus with my saftey and my life so hard?  I honestly don’t have an answer.  But, I am going to pray about this and think about why I keep taking control back and doing things my way.  Because anyone who knows me, knows that I totally can handle things on my own…..

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. 

I think I will remember this.

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  1. John 14:1 (The Message)
    1-4 “Don't let this throw you. You trust God, don't you? Trust me.
    There is plenty of room for you in my Father's home. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on my way to get a room ready for you?
    And if I'm on my way to get your room ready, I'll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I'm taking.”

  2. I have to imagine that that was the hardest thing you (also) had to do was tell your precious boys about little Ireland. I can just see their faces and their minds trying to grasp it all and understand it all (when you couldn't even yourself understand it all and grasp it all). I'm sure it was incredibly sad for you all (and still incredibly sad).

    Trust—-believe you me Jessica, I know exactly what you are talking about. I give to the Lord something and I take it back and repeat that vicious cycle over and over again.

    That's why Trust is my “buzz” word for this year. I keep saying it because I have to keep reminding myself of it. Its the year I say enough is enough and start trusting that Jesus really does know the best for me.

    Just try saying “I trust you Lord” even when things don't make sense. Or “I know this didn't catch you by surprise, help me to glorify you through this”.

    also, write down a list of everything Jesus has been there for you for in the past. All trials, journeys, etc. That really helps to remember that if he got you through this or that, he is to be believed when he says to trust in him.

    hugs to you………………….

    (and I really don't know how awesome heaven will be, but I imagine AWESOME because we get to see Jesus every single day…..what could be better than that 🙂

    love you


  3. What a beautiful post and Yes TRUST is the key. Reading your post made me think back to 4 yrs ago when I to tell my 2 older children that I lost there little brother. I remember the questions and trying myself to understand what had just happened too us.
    Jess , I pray for you and your family daily and I know that God will always be there for you. Even when the day is hard and tough just remember that as the song says trust and obey for there is no other way.
    Praying for you and sending some {{HUGS}}

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