I Found Happiness

Yesterday could be summed up in two words, “It sucked.”

All weekend Kevin and I worked our tails off to get ready to show our house for a family who wants to look at it.  Our house won’t go on the market until August.  The bathroom downstairs, is not finished it’s close, and it’s gorgeous… hopefully this is a good sign.  And our plan for the future, well let me tell ya–it’s a crazy one! We love it! 🙂

However, My lack of parenting over the weekend, is directly affecting the amount of meltdowns and explosions we had in our house yesterday.  I know that I can’t be an absent parent, I have to be an ever-present participant in what is going on with Carver, all the time. He has to have almost military-type structure and I dropped the ball over the weekend, the demand of everything else got the best of me, and I failed him miserably. Because of that, we’re fighting back to his baseline so right now:  Food is an issue, bedtime an issue, clothes are an issue, riding in the car, you guessed it an issue.

Onward we trudge toward our goal often doing this disjointed waltz of sorts that can only be described as chaotic and breathless. Carver pulls one way and I lead another and in the middle for a measure or two,  if we’re lucky we can find some sort of balance and harmony.

Last night we found harmony in a McDonald’s toy,  as Carver and I were doing our nightly yoga stretches–twinkly fingers, sun salutations, tree poses, and some other bendy stretches which make me fart if I am not careful, he ran into my room and in the garbage sack of junk I’d collected, he found a stuffed toy; nothing special, just a stuffed Emoji face with a goofy smile sewn on.  Carver squealed and showed it to Kevin and I, and with absolute delight, he told us, “Guys, I found happiness.”

Happiness

“Happiness”

Oh precious boy, I am so glad you found happiness–I wish for nothing more for you, that within your little spirit you will find a calm quiet happiness that makes you feel safe, secure, and peaceful. Carver, with all my heart I pray happiness for you.

 

I am so glad you found happiness last night. I love you, with every beat of my heart.

Mama

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