Out of Nowhere

I woke up to a rather ugly email this morning.  I would be lying if I said it didn’t catch me off guard, but as I thought about it; I realized that I shouldn’t be surprised.  The longer I am alive, the more often I realize that there are people in this world who are miserable; and who thrive on creating tension and chaos within the lives of others.

I read it to Kevin and he just chuckled, “Leave it alone Jess, you’ll just look like a jerk.”  As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right…..The thing that really gets my goat, is the way this person treats my family;  if you’ve known me, even for a second, you’ll know how fiercely protective I am of the people who I love.  She treats my kids like they’re vermin hardly makes eye contact with them, as though their childhood may rub off.

She has taken advantage of my family, spoken critically of my values and beliefs,  and on numerous occasions,  outspokenly mocked my faith.  Last night, I watched as tension filled the house, and what is normally a lighthearted and enjoyable time, was uncomfortable to say the least.

About a million different responses, to my “morning message” ran through my brain as I painted on my house today.
{yes, I am still painting, and no, I don’t think I’ll ever be finished.}

All of the things that I wanted to respond with and “remind” her of,  would have made me feel so much better, but in reality wouldn’t help the situation AT ALL.  Sometimes not reacting is better than the most eloquently written prose.
One of my greatest weaknesses is that I am not good at keeping my mouth shut, I tend to speak first and worry about the consequences later.

However, in this situation I’ve never spoken up or defended my own.  Simply because the of the family who would pay the price for my words.  I love, and respect them far too much to shame them by stooping to her level. As I was type, type, type….delete, delete, deleting this morning I ran across a verse that my best buddy in the whole wide world, had put on her Facebook wall while she was struggling with similar family situations.

Romans 12: 19-21

 

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I decided against a heated response, instead I prayed for this woman. I prayed God would reveal himself to her, and ease the bitterness, and hurt that she carries within her. I prayed that I would be able to extend grace, and not repay her unkindness with equal venom.

My life is full of joy, and love and contentment; and in all honesty I pray that for her as well.  I can’t imagine living my life, where the only motivation I have is to create hurt in the lives of others and blatantly treat family with such incredible disdain and disrespect. I am so thankful for the grace I’ve been freely given, and for the promise of new tomorrows.  I pray continually that the life experiences that I’ve had, will mold me into someone who uses struggle to refine my heart and my actions into something better!  I pray that I will never take the family I’ve been given for granted, but I would cherish the days, and weeks and years that I have with them for tomorrow may be the last, and I don’t want to say goodbye with regrets.

No regrets, just an extra measure of grace………and some hot coals!

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Comments

  1. I did a bible study on David awhile ago that taught about revenge… it’s so destructive ins’t it? You will look back at this time and be proud of how you handled it. Good girl… I know it’s not easy when you’re wired like you and me! Love you!

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