Out of the Mouths

Boys…..Man do I have a whole bunch of them living in my house, and most of the time, you don’t want to know the conversations that go on within these four walls.  They typically revolve around some sort of air leaking from various places in their bodies, male anatomy, and who has the stinkiest feet.  It is every woman’s fantasy to live with all of these little testosterone filled people!

But, even through all of the butt/fart/poop jokes, sometimes my kids have the most hilarious and sometimes very wise conversations…..I need to remember to write more of them down, because as much as I would like to think that I will always remember their little phrases, I know that that truly isn’t the case.

So here are a few snippets of conversation in our house over the last 48 hours:

Mercer: (to Mac and I) How ’bout you you be the bucky bull and try to buck me off of your back?
Mac: You can’t ride on mom’s back, she’s old and she’ll get too tired.
Me:  Hey now, I am not too old.
Mac:  Well not old like dad, but you’re still kinda old.

Uhhh ok thanks guys, I am amazed I can get out of bed, I am so old! 🙂

Mercer: (to Kevin and I) I got a pie-doo bite on my hand.  (for those of you who don’t speak three-year old, that’s Spider)
Me:  You do?  Let me see your hand.
Kevin: Where was the spider?
Mercer:  On my pillow.
Kevin: What color was it?  Was it big? 
Mercer:  It was pink, and it was this big (holding his pointer and thumb finger together.)

Mac to Me:
Mom, it’s ok that you go to Boot camp at the YMCA, because that means you’ll be tough and you can beat up the bad guys when they come to my house.
Me: Aww thanks Mac, that was nice of you to say, but I don’t think that there will be any bad guys at our house, so you don’t have to worry.

Mac: Well if there are bad guys you could chop them, like this (does ninja kick) That’s what they do on Batman.  He’s so cool mom, do you like Batman?  It’s not dumb like Sponge Bob, you hate Sponge Bob right?  I like Sponge Bob, but I won’t watch it when you’re downstairs cuz’ I know that you don’t like him.  You don’t like Burger King either, it makes you gag.  Why does it make you gag?  I like Burger King. Mom? Mom?  Hey, are you listening to me?
That’s how Mac talks, all over the place and with frequent questions…..the sad thing is, is that is 100% how I talk, I always have about 8 million thoughts running through my head. Kevin gets so frustrated with me, because I will start talking about something and then change directions, and start talking about something else….it all makes sense in my head.
Alot of the funny stuff that has been said, has come from my two middle boys.  Cooper is getting to the point where he can carry on a conversation with me, that is way more mature than what I am sometimes comfortable with.  Tonight at my sisters house at dinner he was very quiet, so when we got into the car to come home I asked him what was going on?  He told me that he was worried.

Me: Why are you worried Dude?
Coop: Mom, this 5th grader told me that the world was going to end on May 21st.  That’s today. I am scared that the Earth is going to blow up or something, then I won’t have a mom and dad anymore.  Was he right mom? Is the world going to end today?

Me:  Cooper, I don’t think that the world is going to end today. But Cooper, someday the world is going to end.  That is why it is so important that we have Jesus in our hearts. Because when the world does end, it means that we’ll be in heaven together. That means that we’ll get to see Ireland again, Grandma June and Popo (my grandpa).  Won’t that be amazing?  I don’t want you to worry about the world ending. Because, only God knows when the world is going to end.He doesn’t tell us on purpose, because he doesn’t want us to worry about it.  Not even the angels know, when the end is going to come.  So the 5th grader who told you that, has some bad information. Are you still worried, Dude? 
Cooper: I am a little, but I am going to go home and snuggle with you, and then when I wake up tomorrow, I will believe you, because I will know that the world is still here!

Gotta love that kid! I am not going to lie, I thought about the world ending a couple of times today.  It worried me too. I know that God has his own time frame, but I find myself telling him how he should do it. 

Ok God, make sure that when Jesus comes back, it’s on a Saturday, about 10am. If you come back then, there is a great chance that all of my family will be together. Or maybe if you’re going to come back. Do it on a Sunday afternoon, while we’re all taking our afternoon nap.  I just really want my kids to be at home with me, when we’re raptured….Hey God, do you hear me? 

Kevin told me today, “Jess, I am not sure why you’re fretting about that, you know that it will be in the blink of an eye, and we’ll all be together…..You know that right?”  “Yes Kevin, I know that, but the mom in me just wants my family to all be together when Jesus comes back.  I know it’s irrational, but it’s my issue.  Just smile and nod.”

In the hopes of being more intentional about my kids funny sayings, I am trying to figure out a way to do a blog hop with funny things our kids say….any advice on starting one, or some good ideas would be totally welcome! Send me an email or leave me a comment!  We are still working on the new blog, I am sooooo excited to see how it turns out!

Hope you have a wonderful night, and if Jesus comes back tonight, I will see you in heaven….I will be the one snuggling a little girl named Ireland Elizabeth, and thanking God that he took good care of her until I could be with her again!

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  1. 1. Have you seen the blog Smacksy? (http://www.smacksy.com/) Check it out if you haven't! She writes all about the hilarious things her son says. I loveee what kids say and these convos were so great! =]

    2. Evan has asked me multiple times if he even needs to be present for me to have a conversation. haha I always have a million things going on in my head, too, and I think I talk like a child. Oh well.

    3. I wasn't worried about the Rapture at all because I know where I'm going =] Buuuut Evan had to work at 3 and I realized he wouldn't be at home with me at 4 if it did happen. Then I had a minor freak out. I told him to make sure he found me in heaven and lost it. Clearly God has everything under control. But I like to make sure he knows to keep families together.

    I hope you have a blessed Sunday =]

  2. Next time some “gook” predicts the world ending, get out your Bible and read Matthew 24:36. When Jesus says NO ONE, he means NO ONE will know but the Father about that day. And then you REMEMBER how faithful God has been to you and your family and that in the end you will all be together for eternity and try not to worry about it because God doesn't want you to worry about it, but just trust in him and live the best you can for him in the meantime.

    Kids do say the funniest things don't they? So cute to read what is being said in your household these days! I was working at church in the children's classes to and you “forget” how imaginative they are at that young age (ages three to six 🙂

    love you,


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