Phone Number and a Parenting Lesson

This week has been  interesting, our oldest oldest son is 7,  and in First grade, and let me be the first to admit I have NO idea how to parent him.  Most of the time I think I have him figured out, and then he throws me a curve… Monday, I am happily working away in my office, catching up on some much neglected paperwork, and my cell phone rings, I don’t recognize the number, so when I answer it’s this little tiny girl voice,

“Is Cooper there?” she asks ( I am totally taken off guard.)

“Huh?” I answer.

 “Cooper, is he there?”  She asks again.

“Um no, he’s not here, he’s at home and I am working.” I say.

“Oh ok, this is his girlfriend, can you have him call me?” She says.

After a pregnant pause I stammer,  “Uhhhhh ok.”

Luckily for me at that moment one of my managers came into my office and distracted me from the phone call that I had just received.  Then a whirlwind of papers, phone calls and customer service pages followed, so I didn’t have time to think about this little girl calling my son…..until I was driving home.  I wondered how I was going to handle this, I had the little girls phone number written down, so that I could remember not to answer it.  I was floored, 1st grade, what the heck is going on here, maybe I am over-reacting but I sure don’t want girls calling my son this soon.

When I got home I asked Coop nonchalantly,  “Who is Jenny,” (not her real name, but you get the point.) 

“Oh she’s a girl in my class, did she call,” he asks?

“Uh yeah,” (my vernacular was slightly limited that day, lots of ummmms and uhhhhs.)

“Oh, I gave my friend (a boy) my phone number so we could play, and she stole it from him and wouldn’t give it back.  So I wrote it for him again,” He told me.

“Ok,” I said, “Well Cooper I just want to make sure that you are not worried about having a girlfriend in first grade, you need to work on friendships and not about girlfriends.”

“I know mom, you’ve told me that a million times,” he said.

(end of conversation).

***side note, the phone number isn’t our real number, so don’t worry***

Later that night the phone rang again, same number, same kid….so when I answered, and the girl asked again for Cooper, I asked to talk to her mom. When she got on the phone, I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea that her daughter be calling Cooper.  I was nice, but on the inside I wanted to yell at her for being a dumb mom…I didn’t, I just stated, that I am trying to raise my boys to be respectful of women, and be gentlemen, and that I thought that 1st grade was a little young to be talking to boys and having girlfriends.

She seemed to understand, but I am not sure if it’s going to cause friction.  I really don’t want it to, but I want my boys to retain their innocence for as long as possible.  This world is hard and scary sometimes, and I honestly feel like Kevin and I are the only advocates our boys have.  I don’t take that lightly.  I believe in my heart of hearts, that someday I will stand before God and be held accountable for the way that I have raised my children and the choices that I have made in their behalf.  I don’t want to mess that up.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  This is my deepest hope, that I will train my boys to be loving, kind, men of God,  who will care for their families and be people who others want to be around, because of their character.  A high hope I am sure, but I am resting in the fact that God is helping me do the best job I can, and that when I fail (which I do daily) he will come along side me and make up for my inadequacies.

Please Lord come along side me and make me the mother that I long to be, full of love and patience, a mother that seeks your will always and sets the example for my children.  A mama who desires only their best, no matter how hard the lesson. Thank you for blessing me with these boys, and for their lives that you have entrusted to me.  Help me in my failures and use them to teach and guide me in how to be a better mama.  Thank you Lord for being the perfect Father and for being the ultimate example.

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday.


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  1. Good job Jessica. You handled that situation like a pro. I don't know what I will do when girls start calling my sons. Such a crazy world. Just wanted to let you know that you are a really good mom!

  2. I know that feeling. I think you handled it very well. I remember at the start of this school yr with my daughter Jennifer. She is only in kindergarten. On her first day of school , when I picked her up she was going on about how this boy wanted to go with her. I was expecting to hear how well she liked school and thoughts on her day.
    Also my son who is a third grader came home just before the Christmas break and wouldn't eat because his friend who is a girl wouldn't talk to him because he was talking to another girl at recess. I told him you are only a child and you are in grade school. Supposed to be having FUN !!
    Great post Jess and children grow up fast anyway but the things some children already know is scary. Some parents don't care what a child hears or sees. I know I may be tough but you gotta someday your children will thank you for what you did. I did !
    Your doing great Jess !!!

  3. Sounds like you did a great job handling this! I don't know what I would have done, but I know I *do not* want girls calling my sons…ever. But then again, we're super old-fashioned (some would say!) 🙂 Good post…got me thinking!!!

  4. I think you handled it just great Jessica; and I agree with you, first grade is just too young for girl-boy relationships and girls calling boys. And I agree with you, you and Kevin are your kids' advocates and protectors at this stage of their lifes. If you don't watch out for them and teach them and train them, you know who will. TV, friends, other friends' parents, etc. And we know the destruction that potentially could cause


  5. Good stuff Jess. Hard day today — gray and another goodbye. God has good things for our Asian boys! Love you! Mom

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