Wells FargoThere are tough mom days and then there are:


“Today’s,” consist of a couple of kids barfing and crapping off-tune symphonies of liquids throughout the house. Some of the liquids make it into strategically placed, spherical waste-receptacles.  However, most land with splattering force, onto floors, walls, bathtubs or the unsuspecting feet of mom, who is still reveling in the wonder that was Upchuck Concerto #9.


don’t happen often, and they’re the true test of what us mom’s are made of.  We get through it with a new grey hair, a wrinkle and the understanding ain’t nothin’ gonna stop us.   However, in the middle of my poop and puke jam-fest when you get a text like this……

I couldn’t help but wonder, wouldn’t a little quarantine be nice? I’d take a quarantine! Hey husband,  let’s trade places!

You come hang with Pooper and Barfo and I’ll chill with the Haz-Mat crew….or at the very least, could you send them here when they’re done?

Oh and that white powder they found–some dough-head mailed Wells Fargo their cocaine. Now, that’s just ridiculous, that stuff is just too important to  waste.

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