Today I see things differently….Last night at Cooper’s game, I sat talking to a mom while we kept score and counted pitches. Interestingly it’s incredibly difficult to score baseball and have a meaningful conversation at the same time. I am sure our dialogue sounded something like a sputtering engine with bad timing….stop, start, stop, start……..stall completely, and so on.
But in one of those moments where there was a lull between innings, she shared something with me and I don’t think she even knew how it rocked me to my center. You see, she too is a mom of boys; three of them who are older than mine by a few years. Somehow the subject of kids came up and we were talking about daughters. I told her that I would love a little girl someday. She agreed and told me that she also had a hard time coming to a point where she was content not to have a daughter.
She told me, almost as if she could see right through me, ” I had to sort out, whether I wanted a daughter, or if I wanted another child. ”
I thought about that for a few moments, and sadly I had to answer, I don’t want another child, I just want a daughter. Please hear me when I say, if I got pregnant and had another son, he would be loved. But in the deep recesses of my being, I know that I would be disappointed. It sickens me to say that, but it’s honest, and sometimes honest isn’t kind.
So today, I see things a little clearer, my heart is heavier because to evaluate yourself honestly sometimes doesn’t feel so wonderful. But God knew the timing of our conversation, and I am so thankful for people who come into my life at just the right moment.
B, if you’re reading this, thanks so much for the wisdom and for understanding the want that I hold so tightly to. I value your insight so much!
I am joining up with The Gypsy Mama, for Five-Minute-Friday.
1. One Topic 2. No editing. 3. Five-Minutes. 4. Encourage another writer along the way!