Understanding

I had a conversation with a member of my family yesterday.  It ended in tears.  I want to clear up a few things about our adoption of the little guy who’s stolen our hearts.  I know that many of you don’t understand the draw for Kevin and I to add to our family, and the only real reason I can give you, is that we WANT to.  There is nothing more to it.  God has seen fit to entrust us with these precious (albeit smelly) lives.  We are willing, committed and determined to raise them with hearts tuned to others and to Christ.

In that committment, Kevin and I truly feel that to pour into our kids and teach them the importance of obedience, we too need to seek after the Lord’s plan for our lives, and strive for obedience.  At the end of my time on earth, when I am standing in front of my Jesus, I want to look on him and know that followed the whispers, nudging and plans that he set out for me.  When we step out in faith, there is blessing in the obedience.

For those of you who just don’t get it, that’s ok; sometimes I don’t either.  But here are a few insights into our hearts.

  1.   I did not coerce Kevin into this idea–He’s had several conversations with people, who’ve told him “Why don’t you just tell your wife NO.”  I take incredible offense to that.  Kev and I are partners, true, I am the more outgoing and assertive one, but Kevin is the leader of our home.  He is the final decision, and if he didn’t feel right about this adoption, we wouldn’t be doing it.
  2.  Our kids are supportive.  We didn’t jump into this without talking with our boys and praying together with them.  They are our primary responsibility and are our greatest blessings.  Kevin and I are truly blessed with kids who’ve got servant hearts, are even at their young age, showing an incredible tenderness for those in need.
  3. Will it be tough?  You bet, we are not naïve to the fact that adding another personality in our home is going to pose its challenges, we will have tough days, there will be times when we want to quit.  But the beauty of tough days, is that a million more wonderful days  balance out the hard.
  4.   We are excited.  This isn’t something that we were planning on.  This baby, birth family and event quite literally fell into our laps.  From the get-go, both Kev and I have prayed that if this isn’t the right path, or if we’re not the right family for this babe, that the doors will close.  They aren’t.  So we’re pushing forward, peaceful that we’re acting out in faith and that we’re making the right decision.
  5. Our lives are blessed beyond measure. In the last three years, the most important lesson I’ve learned is that I have NO control.  Life’s circumstances happen, whether I am prepared or not.  The same is true of this adoption, if we’d had time to plan, prepare and think about it, I am sure that we’d have freaked out and not followed through. This quickness has called us into action and into a greater faith that there is a bigger picture for our lives.

I’ve realized that I am a people pleaser, especially within my family.  I want to make sure that everyone is okay.  The more this progresses, I realize that I can’t control their feelings.  They’re entitled to their opinions and thoughts; but I don’t have to let their thoughts impede the direction laid out before me.  I don’t have to live to please them, the only one who I need to live for is my Lord.  If he is pleased with me, then I am replete.

 

 

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